ADDICTION: Currently none. Formerly: everything. Clean for nearly 3 years
Jordan got into the “party life” at 21. “Nothing happened in my life to make me decide to do it … I liked my friends, the music … started with drinking, just casual, then started drinking at home by myself. Started going to concerts, doing the cocaine, the ecstasy and the ‘shrooms and the psychedelics and the mind expansion …. Then I settled into depression.”
“I kept it going for a couple of years, held a job, kept my shit together … then I started lying, I started stealing from friends, couldn’t control what I wanted, the substances took control of me. It just got to be too much. One day I woke up in a different state with no ID, no cellphone, a train ticket and 30 cents in my pocket and nothing else.”
At this point he had no real friends, no relationship with his parents, and had dropped out of the church he grew up in. “I sat there feeling like I don’t want to live any more. I asked, ‘am I gonna let 6 hours of a good time affect the 60 years I have left in my life?’ I gave away all my drugs – about $1,000 worth – I said to them, ‘I’m cutting contact with everybody, good luck in your life, but I’m done.’”
“Since then every day is a new day, and I’m not going to use these drugs. Sometimes I get depressed and want them, but at this point, it’s not worth going back and the desire’s really pretty small. When that happens, I go get a cup of coffee or go fishing or something, or go to work … I work at DHL. I’ve been clean and sober going on 3 years.
“Since I stopped, I haven’t been hating myself. The hardest thing was losing the “friends” that I had … it’s hard in your 20s to find new friends who don’t smoke, drink, do drugs. But now I’ve found some …. Good, honest people. It’s been a good journey, and I’m excited to see where it goes.
“I got lucky. I did it without a support system, but a support system, an activity, a hobby – like my long board here — anything to keep your mind off what you were doing, that’s a good idea.”
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